Camelot
by Protector of the Gray Fortress
Summary: The Doctor, showtunes, and alien vodka... tenth Doctor. No warnings, all clean.


Disclaimer: I don't own the Doctor, just a dog who reminds me of him.

Note: I'm not promoting drunkedness. It is _bad_, for your health, for your disposition, your looks, etc, etc.

Tenth Doctor

A lonely blue box sat waiting just off a small country lane. Snow drifted gently to the ground in little swirls of blue, covering everything with a sparkling blanket. The area exuded peace and tranquility…if you or I were there we would probably stand gazing across at the picturesque expanse before us…or looking up at the sky, contemplating how such a beautiful phenomenon as blue snow could be. It would not matter that the trees occasionally got up and moved, or that the sheep nearby had three heads.

But hold on…what is that strange noise that so disturbs the stillness?

"I could have daaanced alllll night…I could have daaanced alllll niiight…and stillll have begged fooor moooore…."

It was a voice...a very familiar voice, singing very loudly and very off key.

Three figures appeared, struggling towards the TARDIS…the other two supporting the figure in the middle.

"I could have spprrrreaaad my wings, and done a thooousand thiinngsss…come on sing with me…."

Rose glared at Jack who had the decency to look a little ashamed as he held the brown clad arm firmly with both hands.

The cold silence continued, broken only by the very bad strains of "III'lll never knooow what made it sooo exciting. When all at ooonce my heart toook fliiight."

Rose pushed open the door of the TARDIS and they dragged him in. "Wheeee!"

She sighed and glared again at the two men before her…besides being covered in blue snow they were both sporting several bruises, their clothes were torn and disheveled, and they reeked. Jack's left eye was swelling and blood dripped from a cut on his lip. The Doctor had lost his tie…and his hair had set a record for craziness.

The Doctor noticed Rose's look of disapproval. "Whass wrong Posie, are there Daleks? Don't you worry…I'lll find em." He pulled out his sonic screwdriver (which Rose deftly relieved him of), and staggered purposefully off towards the left.

Jack cleared his throat…"Has a…has this happened before?"

"Yeah." Rose snapped. "Once…but never this bad."

"Wheeere are you? Come on Daleks, come out come out wherever you are! Can't have you bothering Rosie."

Jack looked down at his shoes…trying desperately to maintain a sober expression.

"What were you thinking!" Rose shouted, finally losing her temper. "Didn't it ever cross your mind that he dosen't drink all that often?"

"He's a Timelord," the captain said defensively, "I thought his _superior_ physiolog, would be able to take it."

"It can…and it usually does…you crossed that line a while ago."

"Oooh! I found It…I found It…Not to worry…oh wait…thass a salt shaker…"

"How much did you give him?"

"I ordered him one glass! One glass! He's the one who challenged that Dirrlig to a contest…and everybody knows they're practically weaned on the stuff."

"I didn't even know they had alien vodka." Rose said incredulously

"It's actually kind of funny…" Jack was interrupted as the control room boomed with another resounding chorus.

"The Snow may never sluusshh upon the hillside! By nine p.m. the moooonlight must appeeer! In sshhort therss simply not, a more congeneol spot…"

Jack flinched, "Dosen't he know something besides showtunes?"

"Be thankful he's not tryin' Elvis." Rose sighed and pushed the hair out of her face. "Come on…better put him to bed."

The Doctor didn't look up as the two, very determined looking humans approached him…he was leaning against the console, smiling like a loon and stroking it. His voice had softened.

"For happily –ever-aftering…"

They took him by the arms and dragged him towards his bedroom.

He blinked at the ground in front of him, frowning "Where'd my console go?"

He looked up at his captors, seemingly noticing them for the first time.

"OOhh! Posie!"

"It's Rose."

"Riight, have you ever met Richard Harris?...nice man, splendid actor…but no singing voice…he just kind of whispered the lines…."

"Which way?" Jack asked, pausing as they reached the end of the first hall.

"Left,"

"…Sean I said, If you really want to be a secret agent you'll just have to go into acting…and never loose the accent…iss part of the charm…"

Jack gave Rose a funny look, "You know…he dosen't really sound any different."

Rose laughed without humor, and shoved open the door to the Doctor's room. The Doctor looked up and the silly grin lit his face again. "Hello rooom." He chanted in a little singsong voice.

"Come on Doctor." Rose dragged him through the debris to his bed where he collapsed giggling. "Let's get you to bed."

The smile left his face, "No, no no no no no no…hold on."

He reached up with great difficulty and gripped Jack's shirt pulling him closer. "Jack…that Dirrlig owes me five pounds…I won fair and round…" he frowned, confused..."No wait…thass not right."

Rose helped him to lay back on the bed divesting him of coat, jacket, socks, and shoes. The Doctor smiled at his bare feet and wiggled his toes.

Rose sighed, getting to her feet and pulled the duvet up to his shoulders. "Good night Doctor."

"Don't want too…" the Doctor grumbled, his eyes already closed. "Not sleepy…still haven't found the Dalek."

His companions left the room closing the door behind them…and for the second time in this fanfiction there was stillness.

It was broken by a quiet off key humming and a voice that muttered drowsily.

"For…one brief shining moment that was knooown aaas Caaamelot."


End file.
